Jackson David Hacker was born on Monday, March 7, 2011 at 12:38am. How I wish I had taken notes of the events as they unfolded because, even though it has only been a week, it all seems like a blur to me...
I woke up at 4am Sunday morning with contractions. I had been having lots of contractions for several weeks, but I had a feeling that this was different. I woke John up and told him that I thought our son would be born on March 7... I spent most of the day Sunday relaxing (as best as I could) and
packing the hospital bag. By late afternoon, my contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes and were growing in intensity. John had been out running errands most of the day and when he got home I told him that I was pretty sure I was in labor... He was thrilled and I was starting to freak out a little bit. Could I really do this?!
I jumped in the shower to help me through the contractions (and to get cleaned up before heading to the hospital). At about 6pm I called the hospital to tell them that I thought I was in labor. They asked me a bunch of questions and said that I was probably in labor, but that I should stay at home for a little while longer to see how things progressed and then call back in an hour... Well, about 30 minutes later I was having much more intense contractions that were happening about every 2-3 minutes. I called and said that we would be on our way...
My first bit of irrational/stubborn behavior began as we pulled into the hospital at around 8pm. I would not let John park in the emergency department lot, as they had advised us on the phone (I told him that this was not an emergency and that I was perfectly capable of walking into the hospital on my own). Well, the next ramp was quite some distance from labor and delivery. This wouldn't have been a big deal had I not been doubling over in pain every 2 minutes... Let's just say it was a long walk into the hospital...
Initially, we were checked into the triage unit. As I waited for the nurse to come "check" me I started to fear that I wasn't really in labor and that they would send me home. As it turned out this was very far from the truth- I was already 5cm!! I was thrilled to be half way there (granted I had the much more difficult part ahead). I also found out that my doctor was on call that night. This was unbelievably lucky because my clinic has 25 doctors and you're stuck with whoever happens to be on call. My anxiety immediately decreased (at least a little bit) because she knew all of the details of my case and assured me that she thought it was a good thing that Jackson was coming a little early given what we had seen on the last couple of ultrasounds.
By 9pm we were settled into our labor suite (which was the biggest one they had) and I was pacing around the room listening to my
labor playlist. Here is where my stubborn behavior came into play again... I refused narcotics because I was afraid they would make me sick. Next, the nurse advised me that if I wanted to get an epidural (which I did) that I should probably get it soon. I told her that I didn't want it yet because I was afraid that it would slow down my progress. She, very patiently, reminded me that I would need fluids before they could administer the epidural and that, in addition to that, it would take about 45 minutes to insert the epidural. I agreed to get started on the IV fluids. My nurse returned at around 9:30 to check my progress- I was 6cm and the contractions were getting extremely uncomfortable.
Thank goodness she pushed me to start on the IV because it was epidural time! The thought of having an 8cm needle stuck into my spine and having no feeling in my legs scared me to death (but not as much as the thought of giving birth with no pain meds). The epidural was not that bad... The worst part was the shock I felt down my legs when they inserted the catheter. After, about 15 minutes I could feel that my legs were getting really numb but I still had strong pain across my pelvis with every contraction... My nurse had me roll onto to my side to see if that would help the meds disperse into the area.
Around 10:30 my doctor decided to break my water to help move things along. This is when things got a little bit scary... My amniotic fluid had blood in it. She said there was no way of knowing what may have caused this, but that it could be a sign of something quite serious and that I may have to have an emergency c-section. I was extremely worried at this point and in excruciating pain. Things really became blurry after this...
About a half an hour later, the epidural still wasn't working properly. My contractions were happening every 1-2 minutes and lasting 60-90 seconds (this didn't leave very much recovery time between and I was starting to feel like I couldn't do this much longer). My nurse said that she'd have the anesthesiologist come back and adjust the epidural, but first my doctor wanted to check my progress. I was 9cm- there would be no time for adjusting, it was time to push!! I was told that it would feel "better" to push...
I can't say that it felt better, but at least I knew that we were almost there and that my son would be in my arms soon. This is what I tried to focus on as I pushed... After a few pushes I asked, "If I push really hard on the next one, will he be here?" My doctor said yes. As I felt my next contraction coming, I gave it everything I had... A few seconds later, I heard my son's beautiful cry and got to see him for a brief second as John cut the umbilical cord before the neonatal team whisked him away across the room. They had to check him out before we were able to hold him. There was also concern about me because my placenta wouldn't come out. I am not going to go into detail here, but my placenta had to be "manually" removed and this part was far worse than any part of the labor process. (Once they got it out my doctor said that my placenta and umbilical cord looked smaller than normal. She sent it to pathology and later in the week I found out that 10% of my placenta had become detached from the uterine wall. This is what caused the blood in the amniotic fluid and it also was probably the reason why Jackson was so small- he wasn't getting enough nutrients. Thankfully, he knew that it was best to come out into the real world!)
About an hour after he was born, I was finally able to hold my dear son in my arms. Words cannot describe...
