Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Hot Mama?

The other day, something happened to me that hadn't happened in quite some time... A car full of 20-something young men whistled and shouted "he-ey" as I was crossing the street in front of them. I looked around to see who they were cat-calling because it surely wasn't this 30-something, sweaty mother pushing a stroller across the street. There was no one else around... Next, for a horrifying moment, I thought they were mocking me (I had recently watched the video about the bullied bus monitor and was traumatized). Then, the driver leaned out his window and said "you're lookin' really good...for a mom." I wasn't quite sure how to respond, since I didn't know if that was supposed to be a compliment. I ended up smiling and saying "thank you," like any nice mom would.

I have to admit, I was a little giddy before he added the last little tidbit. That part threw me for a loop. I guess it's because the role of "mom" is still new to me. Even after 15 months in my new job, I'm having a bit of an identity crisis. I feel very fortunate to be able to stay home with my little guy, but it is the hardest job I've ever had. Some days, I don't even get dressed (and I certainly do not feel like I'm "lookin' really good"). Some days, okay most days, I don't accomplish more than keeping my son alive (he's a climber and has no fear). My visions of a clean house and dinner on the table for my husband every night have been smashed. It's physically and mentally draining to have a boss who doesn't speak English and isn't house trained. I worry that I'll never be able to find my way back into workforce (if I ever want or need to). However, it's worth it to me. These days are fleeting. For now, I am content "just" being a mom...well maybe at least a "hot" mom (on days that I have time to shower). Thanks, college boys, for making my day week.

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